Reflecting Light
by Elocynne
Summary: Snape encounters a girl who reminds him of a person from his past, someone who died 17 years ago...
1. Default Chapter

This is my first fanfic so please be gentle with any comments unless you really hate the story and need to vent. I hope you all enjoy it and I would appreciate any suggestions/criticisms anyone has to offer. Sorry if the grammar is a bit off, it's never really been my strong point but I don't think there are too many glaring errors. Thanks for reading...  
  
Prologue  
  
Severus Snape rushed through the house quickly hoping to find something, anything, that would indicate that the worst had not happened. He had arrived moments ago to discover the dark mark floating eerily over the quiet property and knew that it was unlikely that she had survived, but he still had to look for himself.  
  
He had met Skylar nearly a year ago, and in her he finally found someone who understood him, who supported him, and who made him happier then he ever thought would be possible. After having a miserable childhood, he had joined Voldemort's Death Eaters simply because he was searching for a place to belong. The Dark Lord seemed to care about him and value him in ways that no other person had ever done before, but he soon realized that the Dark Lord's affections only appeared when he was of some use, and if he failed him in any way, those affections would be replaced with curses and demands for constant obedience. It was at this point that Skylar had come into his life. He had become disillusioned with life as a Death Eater long before, but with Skylar's help he was able to finally approach his old Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, find some meaning in his life, and was given a chance to partially undo the wrongs he had committed. Once he became a spy, he only had limited contact with Skylar, but the connection they shared only grew stronger. They had plans to marry once the war was finally over and, despite taking many precautions, they had conceived a child together. Severus had thought it would be best to terminate the pregnancy but Skylar refused. She maintained it was fate that she had become pregnant and felt that the child would have some greater purpose in the world; therefore, they could not kill it.  
  
The last time he had seen Skylar, she was about to be sent into hiding into a location that he was not even privy to at the time because of his close interactions with Voldemort. Dumbledore had been afraid that Voldemort might have been able to pry the information from Severus' mind if he became suspicious. However, as soon as Lucius Malfoy had come into the latest meeting bragging about killing an Order member in an isolated location he knew it could be Skylar. As soon as he could, Snape had apparated to the property Malfoy had mentioned.  
  
Snape frantically looked around everywhere wanting to see something that would indicate she still was safe, that Dumbledore had gotten her out in time but when he heard the 'pop' in the next room, he knew she was dead. Albus walked into the room and stared at Severus with sadness in his normally twinkling blue eyes.  
  
"She's dead, isn't she?" Snape said quietly, not even looking up to see the answer before collapsing to the ground in tears. He lifted his head quickly, "What about the baby? Did she....?" The Headmaster shook his head. "Skylar hadn't given birth yet..." Albus said anticipating the question as Snape's sobbing increased. "I'm sorry Severus, I truly am", Dumbledore replied as he rubbed the young wizard's back hoping to provide some comfort in a time of great tragedy. 


	2. Dreams and Discussions

_I apologize for the delay on the update…life has been keeping me busy.  This story is moving a little slower than I thought it might but things will pick up soon.  Sorry for the short chapters too…I just wanted to get this one out ASAP but the rest will be longer.  _

_Thanks to my reviewer too…I hope you enjoy how this story turns out.      _

** Chapter One **

Snape awoke with a start after his latest encounter with Skylar in his dreams.  In this one he had arrived in time to see her one last time and she whispered to "never give up on what you believe" before taking her last breath. He assumed the comment was in reference to his continuation of supporting the light side, but he still did not understand why her presence was constantly invading his slumber.  She had died nearly 18 years ago at this point and he hadn't experienced any dreams this intense since the few months after her actual death.  Dumbledore seemed to think it had something to do with the anniversary of her death coming near but Severus was convinced it was something more.  What was she trying to tell him?****

Noticing the time, Snape got out of bed in order to make it to the Great Hall on time for breakfast.  Despite the fact the students had all left days ago, Dumbledore insisted that all the professors who chose to remain in the castle dine together.  This was a very trying experience each day because the potions master was well aware that most of the professors did not actually enjoy his company and he was tired of making idle chitchat with people who could never understand what he had been through.  The only reason he went was out of respect for Dumbledore.

After suffering for nearly an hour of Professor Sprout going on and on about her new summer growth and Hagrid going on about the new creatures he was training, Dumbledore finally came to Severus' rescue.

"May I have a word with you please after you are finished?"    

"Of course Headmaster, now is fine." Snape said getting up from the table as quickly as possible, following Albus up to his office. 

Once they were seated Albus eyed the potions master concerned, "I'm going to be blunt. You look tired Severus. Are you still suffering from those dreams?" 

Snape sighed, "Unfortunately.  I just can't seem to get them out of my head…"

"Have you thought about taking a dreamless sleep potion?"

 "I have but I just can't shake the feeling that they are important in some way, and as much as it pains me, it's nice to have a chance to actually say goodbye even if  know it isn't real.  I just like seeing her…does that make any sense to you?" Severus looked down at his hands uncomfortable with expressing his feelings but Dumbledore chose not address it.  He was glad that Snape was finally dealing with some of the hurt and torment that arrived with Skylar's death.

"Complete sense.  I only suggested it because I'm worried that your lack of focus lately may incur Voldemort's wrath which would be very detrimental to what we are trying to do. Does he seem to suspect anything?"

Severus shuddered slightly at the mention of the Dark Lord's name. "No, I've been extremely careful around him especially lately.  He has not been in the most, shall we say, pleasant mood recently, but fortunately it is not due to anything concerning me."

"That is what I wanted to hear.  Just promise me that if you ever feel like it may become an issue that you will come talk to me, I know you do not like asking for help but I insist that you do not deal with this burden alone." The Headmaster said emphatically. 

Snape glanced down at his watch embarrassed by Dumbledore's declarations. "I will.  I'm actually expected to attend a meeting in a few hours so I think I may go get ready unless you have something else to discuss?"

"No that is all.  Just please be careful."   Severus nodded and turned to leave. 

"Oh and Severus?" Snape rotated to look at the Headmaster.  "Give the other professors a chance.  You'd be surprised how highly they think of you and what they could offer you if you'd give them something to work with." 

Snape rolled his eyes and groaned.  "Headmaster, with all due respect, I think I can decide how to interact with my colleagues on my own." He turned sharply and left as Dumbledore watched him go with a twinge of sadness in his eyes.     


	3. An Unexpected Surprise

_Hey Everyone. Sorry this took so long. I had major virus problems on my computer and I haven't had any chance to access the internet. All is okay with it for now though so I should be updating fairly regularly. I hope you like this Chapter…it's a little longer than the others._

_Thanks for all the kind reviews as well. I really appreciate them._

**Chapter Two**

Professor Snape walked down to the dungeon with a grimace on his face. As much as he valued Dumbledore's opinions, he didn't understand why the Headmaster insisted on making him interact with people he did not wish to. He was doing with the other Professors now just like he had tried to do it with Potter.

Snape knew that him teaching Harry Occlumency would only lead to disaster but the Headmaster had felt that the lessons would benefit them both. And look what had happened – Black was dead and Harry was most likely devastated. As much as he disliked the boy, he could not deny that he had suffered greatly throughout his young life and did not deserve to anymore. But the Dark Lord was ruthless and it was only a matter of time before he destroyed Potter or Potter destroyed him. To make matters worse there was no telling who would die in the process, but those close to Potter were at the greatest risk. No one was safe in Voldemort chose to go after them, and he tended to target those whose deaths would have the greatest emotional impact on the young wizard.

After resting for a moment in his chambers, Snape began to prepare what he should wear to the Death Eater meeting scheduled later today. Lately Voldemort had been concerned about spies overhearing their discussions and, luckily for Severus, instead of suspecting internal spies, he directed his attention to his external enemies. The Dark Lord felt that meeting at a more secure location was pertinent now that the Ministry was aware he had returned to full power, and for some reason unknown to Snape, he had decided that the best location would be a coffee shop in a small muggle town. Granted the ministry would be unlikely to search for them there, but Severus felt that the pureblood wizards would stick out greatly due to the fact they had been exposed to very little of muggle life; however, he did not dare challenge Voldemort's decision. Only the most trusted Death Eater's were attending this meeting so perhaps their small numbers would prevent them from drawing too much attention. Snape imagined that Malfoy, Lestrange, MacNair and possibly a few others would be part of the group today. Most of the Death Eaters who had ended up in Azkaban had easily escaped once the dementors, as Dumbledore had predicted, were lured by the Dark Lord's promises of power.

It hadn't taken Severus long to regain Voldemort's trust. He simply told the Dark Lord that he could not return to his side immediately because Dumbledore would have suspected something. Snape convinced him that he only stayed because he felt he could be of most service he remained close to Dumbledore. Naturally he had to deal with several encounters of the Cruciatus curse as penance, but the process hadn't been too painful and went better than expected.

Noticing the time, he quickly conjured up a suitable outfit to wear to the meeting. He kept his basic black colour, but instead of swooping robes he wore black pants and a simple black shirt. It seemed appropriate for the place they were going, and once he was satisfied with his appearance, he apparated, once outside the Hogwartz grounds, to a secure location near where they were planning to meet.

As he began the short walk to "The Coffee Cup", he wished he had added a sweater to his ensemble. It was freeing outside and he longed for the constant warmth of his thick robes. It was too risky to attempt any magic however, so he raced inside the shop to escape the frigid air. Once indoors, he chose a table in the corner and opened up a book that had a cover that read Great Expectations, the title of a popular muggle tale, but actually contained the latest potion developments inside.

His reading was immediately interrupted by a muggle girl.

"You look cold. Can I get you a cup of coffee of anything? Maybe some hot chocolate?" She asked tentatively. "It would help to warm you up…"

Snape looked up and glowered, full prepared to sneer at the girl and inform her that he was expecting others, but when he met her eyes, his heart jumped slightly. He dark emerald eyes brought back Skylar's to his mind and he stared up at her in shock while she looked at him questioningly.

He quickly gathered himself together and softly answered, "Some tea would be great."

She smiled slightly, "I'll get right on that" and left the table.

Severus' heart raced as he attempted to regain control of his emotions. It would be of no benefit to him to have Voldemort see him so shaken up by a mere muggle. Unfortunately, the rest of his entourage arrived just as the girl brought him his tea. It took all his strength to maintain his emotionless exterior around this girl, but he managed to do so. Just barely. Once she had taken the rest of the orders, she left them alone and Snape gave a quiet sigh of relief.

Lucius Malfoy grimaced once she left. "Muggles are all such foul creatures. I do hope that she does not massacre the preparation of my tea. Boiling water can be such a challenge."

Snape's eyes narrowed slightly. "Actually the tea is quite good here…Surprisingly…" He said adding that latter part to prevent suspicion from arising within the group. The small talk ended here and the proceeded onto their business.

That was one thing that Snape actually appreciated about the Death Eater meetings. They never engaged in pointless conversation. Voldemort usually just updated them on the latest news and gave them their orders. No one really argued with him, mostly out of fear, so the meetings were predominantly short and sweet. Snape's orders this week were to concoct a few potions and, as always, keep a close eye on the happenings at Hogwartz.

During the discussion, his eyes kept wandering to the young waitress and he found himself watching her intently. She looked around sixteen or seventeen at the oldest. His eyes glanced over to the tag which displayed her name, Brody Hart, a rather strange name for a muggle female. This Brody was fairly tall, with short dark hair that could be slightly reminiscent of his own, and those eyes that were identical to his former fiancée's. He knew it wasn't possible, that his child had died in Skylar's womb but a part of him couldn't help but be unnerved.

Snape was quickly brought out of his thoughts when he noticed that Voldemort was addressing him.

"We are concluded here Severus, finish up your tea so we may leave."

Snape searched his head for some excuse to stay, he didn't want to leave quite yet. He couldn't leave. "Thank you Master for thinking of me, but I think I may remain here for a little longer to catch up on some work."

"You wish to remain amongst this filth?" Lucius asked skeptically.

"Well not particularly, but it is definitely preferable to remaining among those annoying twits at the castle, and partaking in their incessant chatter." Snape answered while masking his nerves in order to prevent revealing his lies to the Dark Lord.

"You have been placed in a very trying position my servant" Voldemort interjected, "And I greatly appreciate your constant loyalty. You will be rewarded once I regain my former position of power."

"No reward is necessary Master. I live to obey you and your needs."

The rest of the group proceeded to leave, not without Lucius' customary sneer at him for being Voldemort's current favourite, and Snape found himself finally alone. His eyes scanned the shop for Brody and he noticed she was coming towards the table once again.

"Nice friends you have there. So polite and friendly…" She said sarcastically as she cleared the table.

"I would never refer to those people as friends" Snape said bitterly. "They are simply work colleagues who I am forced to tolerate."

Brody laughed and Snape could not help but marvel at how much she reminded him of Skylar once again. "You know I could tell that you were different from them. I'm kind of good at sensing those type of things about people. What they are really like…I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be talking this much. You probably don't care at all. It's my first day here and I tend to ramble when I'm nervous."

Snape smiled slightly. Skylar had done the same thing. "It's quite all right. I don't mind rambling." He added quietly. "It's nice to have someone to talk to."

"I'm Brody Hart." She said, extending her hand. "I work here pretty often so if you ever feel like a tea, you should come back. Well if you want to…"

"Severus Snape." He said, his hand shaking slightly as it met hers. "I will definitely try to come back again. The tea was excellent."

He glanced at his watch and realized that Dumbledore would be expecting him to return shortly. "I should be on my way though. I am meeting someone soon and I cannot be late. But I will see you again?" He asked hopefully.

"For sure, well unless I get fired. Take care." Brody added as she walked to serve the next table.

"You as well." Snape answered as he reluctantly left the shop.

Severus could not believe that a simple, mundane meeting with the Death Eaters had led to all these revelations. He was afraid to believe it was possible, but the girl had arisen such strong emotions in him. In the few moments they had conversed, he felt more of a connection to her than to anyone he had encountered after Skylar's death.

He apparated to a location outside the castle grounds and proceeded to walk towards the building. A conversation with the Headmaster would be extremely necessary once he returned.


	4. The Deal

**Chapter Four**

Snape sprinted through the castle to the eagle guarding the Headmaster's quarters.  He quickly uttered the password required to gain access to the staircase and dashed up the stairs as fast as he possibly could.  When he arrived to the top he was slightly out of breath and was forced to pause for a moment.  Dumbledore came down the stairs from the upper level of his office afraid that something had happened to the young potions master. 

"Severus!" He exclaimed while helping him to a chair and grabbing him a glass of water.  "What happened? Did Voldemort discover you?"

"No…..the meeting…..was fine…."  Snape answered pausing between his breaths.  "I apologize…for worrying…you.  Something did….happen…..though….and you were the only…..person I could…think to talk about….it to." 

Their conversation was put on hold for a moment while Severus drank some more water and regained his ability to speak.  The Headmaster racked his brain to think of what it could be that his Professor felt was so urgent he chose to nearly kill himself in order to get to him. 

"Headmaster…" Snape began, interrupting Dumbledore out of his thoughts. "I'm not sure where to begin.  This whole day has been so overwhelming and what I'm about to tell you will probably convince you that I've gone mad but please just listen."

Albus nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"I met a young girl today at the coffee shop the Death Eater meeting was held at."  Snape spoke quietly, almost afraid to voice his suspicions. "She was around sixteen or seventeen and pretty much looked like the average muggle girl.  When she came to serve me though….I noticed she had the same uniquely piercing eyes Skylar had.  Do you remember them?  They were like emeralds, and when she looked at you it was almost like she could see inside you.  This girl could do that too.  She saw that I was different from the other Death Eaters."

"Severus…" Dumbledore spoke with empathy but Snape interrupted him.

"I know the child died. And I know it's foolish to dream that anything different could have happened, but the connection I felt to this girl, Brody Hart was her name, was unbelievable.  You know that I rarely experience bonds with anyone, especially people I'm meeting for the first time.  She's the right age, has the right look….is there even a chance that…?"

"There's always a chance I suppose" Albus interjected firmly.  "But I do not think it is wise for you to believe that you child is still alive.  Do you not think if she existed we would have received word of it due to her magical powers?  Even if there was some chance that she had been raised by muggles we still would have received some notification of her existence when it was time to send out the Hogwartz letters."

"Perhaps she never received hers. Or she didn't accept.  Are there any records that I could look at?" Severus asked desperate to hold onto his theory. 

"You could talk to Minerva.  She deals with all the letters that are sent out.  I imagine she'd have a list of all the wizards who were eligible to attend the school each year.  But Severus, I urge you to let this go.  It's not worth it to dwell on the past.   You need to move on." 

"Albus, you know me.  I'm not a dreamer.  I've never dared to imagine that my child could still be alive.  But I felt something in that shop, something I haven't felt since Skylar died.  And I have to see what it meant.  Maybe this is what my dreams were alluding to, maybe Skylar was trying to tell me something." Snape sighed.  "I just have to explore this now or my past will haunt me forever.  If don't look into this girl now, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life."          

The Headmaster nodded.  "Very well.  You do whatever you think is best.  But how about we make a deal?  You can have the rest of the summer to explore this but if nothing comes of it after that then you let it go?" 

Severus thought for a moment.  "That seems fair.  Thank you Headmaster.  I think I will go talk to Professor McGonagall now.  Goodnight."

Dumbledore watched the potions master leave with a worried look on his face.  He hoped Snape's interactions with this Brody Hart would not cause the poor wizard more hurt and suffering.


	5. Hurt

_I found some notes and a chapter for this fanfic I started three or possibly more years ago. I figured I'd add the chapter just for fun and I'm toying with the idea of writing some more, although I think I would need to tweak certain aspects of past chapters in order to coincide with the ideas I have now. _

_This chapter takes place after Snape has realized that Brody cannot be his daughter._

**Unknown Chapter**

Brody knocked furiously on the door of Snape's dungeon. "I know you are in there." She paused for an answer. "I really need to talk to you!"

Snape opened the door angrily, "ABOUT WHAT? I thought you were someone you are not. I apologize. We are done here."

Brody glared at him. "So we aren't related. BIG FREAKING DEAL! It doesn't change anything that has happened this past year…"

"Of course it does." Snape replied bluntly. "Do you understand what I have lost? I thought I fond a connection to the only person I ever loved. You can't offer me that anymore and now you are simply a reminder of how all that I have lost is truly gone. With you I thought I had a chance of having a family. I don't. The End"

Brody exploded, "YOU STUPID STUPID MAN! Is everything so black and white to you? My whole life I've been viewed as crazy because I could see the things I do and feel the way I feel. Yeah, I have a family, but that doesn't change anything. My father died when I was born, maybe even before and I was left with a broken mother who convinced everyone that I was insane. Do you honestly think I have no understanding of what it feels like to lose someone you love? Anyone I get close to gives up on me because I'm too strange or intense or crazy. Granted it's not the same as having someone you love die, but at least you know that Skylar loved you back. I never had that with anyone….until I met you."

Brody glanced into Snape's eyes searching for some sort of reaction; however, his expression was unreadable. She continued softly, "When you asked me to come here I thought I'd last a week before you realized that I was a lost cause and send me home. Instead I found answers. I realized that the problems I had were not my fault. You gave me that. And I consider you to be an important part of my life regardless of the fact that we are simply two strangers that were brought together by coincidence. I love you…And I know I mean something to you to. Please don't shut me out…."

Snape looked at her coldly. "It is you who is foolish my dear. My interest in you was based on the fact that I thought you were my daughter. Without that I have no need to listen to your ridiculous fantasies and no motivation to solve your problems. I don't need to care anymore which, frankly, is a relief at this point. Your "broken" mother was perhaps not amiss in sending to a psychiatrist. Nevertheless it is no longer my concern. You mean nothing to me."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them. Brody stared at him in complete shock Severus reached for her arm put she pulled away. "Don't." Brody said quietly as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Snape attempted to apologize but she interrupted his attempts. "I have to go…" she said. "I'll walk you back to your room, make sure you get back okay…."

"No you won't. You need to stay away from me." She said wiping her eyes gently. "I'll be fine." Brody composed herself and then walked away. All she knew was that she needed to get as far away from Hogwarts as possible.

Severus put his hands in his face. He wanted so badly to go after her, to tell her that he didn't mean it, but he knew the damage was done. He was a horrible bastard and he didn't deserve her love. He didn't deserve to be loved by anyone.

For the first time in a long time, Severus Snape wept for all that he had lost.


End file.
